Mama Didn't Teach You Right

I recently read a eulogy for a good friend and former pastor. This man gave me one of my first Bibles, one with a red cover that has been highlighted, searched, and nearly come unglued. The article was a fairly basic overview of his life of 82 years and the contributions he made as a human. You can find it here:

http://www.abpnews.com/content/view/5084/53/

At the bottom of the associated Baptist Press article was an additional comment made by someone who had also read the article. I don’t usually read comments to articles online, because most are made by people who either have nothing to add to the article content or by accident have typed a misspelled word or letter in the comment box and accidentally hit the return key. This one was different. This one was thought out and perhaps five times longer than the original author’s. In the first few paragraphs, it seemed as though this person was also acknowledging the commitments and contributions of my good friend regardless of some of their very own private disagreements. This would have been a great response, had it focused on the loss of this person. Instead, the response turned to an egotistical crusade against this man’s life work. The author penned his words almost carefully to insinuate that his entire life had been waste of time, yet important for his own theological understanding of right and wrong – a viewpoint that was antithetical to the man who just recently passed away. I write ‘almost’ carefully penned his words, since someone who can read will realize that they were written as an insult.

I investigated this response a little further and found it to be linked to his blog page that was connected to his Twitter account. On the day that he wrote this scathing response he had written on this account that he felt it necessary to respond to this passing of a ‘moderate’ leader. This struck me....there are only two reasons that someone would write something discourteous like this on the occasion of another’s death:

1) Your seminary training did not adequately teach you appropriate pastoral ministry skills at a funeral.
2) Your mama didn’t raise you right.

As this man is currently the president of a Baptist seminary, I must assume that it has to be the second. Who responds to a eulogy about how they hated someone’s ideals. Even criminals have family that attend and search out the good times in a person’s life. If this is the correct response for a Baptist and seminary president to give as example on funeral rites, then I would sure hate to see how Baptists are now teaching their seminary students on performing weddings, conducting Baptisms, or raising children. What happened to the ‘conservative’ values of sending food or flowers to a funeral in support of a family, or lending kind words to a staunch adversary that gave your life purpose. Growing up in Texas, you learn very early that you don’t kick someone when they are down, you pick them up first before you hit them again. If your mama had taught you about that you wouldn’t have written it.

1st Day of Teaching

There’s a lot in teaching that is learned on the fly. When I first started teaching, I realized that you have to be flexible, what you have planned will not go exactly like you want it. The very first lesson I taught during student teaching, I worked on for four days prior to the class. I had objectives correlated with state and national teaching standards, an opening statement that would interest dead people, and plenty of group activities that would ensure even the weakest link could partake in the fountain of knowledge. In other words I had never taught a class.

I was beginning my opening soliloquy on the three branches of the national government to seniors in their required government credit class – a speech that surely would have been turned into the next great Man Booker Prize when written down in my first book – when my supervising teacher came running into the room. “Have you seen the news?!?” he said. “No, I am attempting to mold young minds!” I responded back, now wondering what could be going on that was necessary to interrupt the panicky thoughts now occurring in my cerebrum. This was definitely not in the lesson plan. “Someone has just flown a plane into the World Trade Center in New York,” he explained. In the flash of my synapses I realized my grand opus was coming to a quick close. A student in the front row turned to me as the supervising teacher was turning on the classroom television to CNN and said, “What does this mean is going to happen to us?” I had definitely not written up the lesson plan that included this question…nor did I have any clue as to the answer. So I said something that I have finally started to be more comfortable in saying, “I have no idea, but let’s watch and find out.” We continued to watch that day and see the events of September 11, 2001 play out across the nation.

One year later, the senior that asked that questions revisited my room but with a new answer to his own question. He knocked on the door, entered wearing his heavily starched Marine uniform and asked if he could speak to me. Not usually being confronted with Marines, I was taken aback that this student would consider talking to me about anything related to the military. Quickly, I thought of the question that he had brought up a year earlier and asked him to explain to the current group of seniors I was teaching how his life changed in one year. He responded, “I have spent the last six months in Afghanistan after spending the first six being trained as a sniper. I never picked up a gun until this war, but it turns out I learn quickly. I have been part of a small team of Marines that slips back and forth across the country seeking some of Al Qaeda’s top marks. Stay in school, learn what you are presented, and you will see how much better your life was when you were in high school.”

The Egyptians

I have all kinds of questions asked of me whilst teaching junior high students. Some impress me of their comprehension of complex situations, others remind me of the important things in life. The other day I was beginning a unit on Egypt. I wanted to make a good impression with the students – build up their excitement about the topic and introduce it in a way that would make them all thirst for information on the subject.

I began, “Today we are going to be studying a new unit, one that continues some of the themes from the last one, Mesopotamia. Egypt has a rich history of building projects, dynasties of pharaohs, and life surrounding the Nile. We are going to inspect each of these aspects, by placing ourselves into some activities that will allow us, as a class to experience what life was like as an Egyptian. Are you ready?”

Instantly, murmuring began in the room and one hand shot up with a question. “Mr. Tillman, are we going to learn how to make cookies?”

Campaign Wear

As the political season is in full swing, many are capitalizing on some major gaffs of the candidates. This flow chart is now availible on coffee mugs, t-shirts, bags, and dogwear. More power to someone being creative to make some money in this drought.

Mr. Puddles

One of the funniest segments that he's done in a while. John Stewart is a genius....I myself have started looking for Mr. Puddles.

The Trophy Candidate

The American presidential debate system is a stalwart effort by both parties to converse with the American people and convince them who would make a better presidential or vice-presidential candidate. The American people are thus shoved into political speed dating with candidates and issues that affect them personally or they know very little about. Thus I offer my advice to the perfect candidate, since I am the one being courted, about what I would like to see happen in our government and what I would not like to hear.

First, the trophy candidate would not give a speech that sounds like this:

“People call me a beggar. I have experience asking other people for money in order to fulfill special interests for my state at the expense of the American tax payers. I often curb my decisions to what is popular or what will help my stay elected. I use trite phrases to explain large intricate congressional ideas such as, ‘no newer taxes’, or ‘we need change’ because I believe that the average American voter is too dim-witted to understand my complex brain and the workings of Washington legislatures, probably due to the fact that I voted against educational improvements in our country so that the money could go to some worth while cause like war, terrorism, or another oil producing country. I know that the American people are hurting with our inflated economy. I fought in a war once and have been hurt. I know or have heard about a Joe Schmoo who lives on Main Street in Anywhere Town. Joe and his wife Ann sent me a Christmas card last year, in it was a message saying thank you for being a remarkable person. Joe thinks I know what I’m doing and you should too. I mention this because it makes it seem like I have talked to people and also listened to them. This election is the most important of our century, make sure you vote for me in November.”

I would prefer a candidate to also an attitude that sounds like:

“I am an American…with an A. I grew up in a small town, received a big scholarship to a prestigious school and finished in the top 2% of my class. I believe that Americans want to be represented by someone who will not embarrass them. I would like the opportunity to take on that responsibility. I have worked with many people. I have had experience in the areas of our government where change is needed, such as the economy and foreign affairs. When I am elected by the American people, I will surround myself with the most intelligent advisors that American people can put forward. I will move funds towards the most needed infrastructure in our country – education. Without education future leaders can not make it through the problems that may arise from mistakes I could make as president. I will try to fix the mistakes of previous administrations that have done the same. I, like many American support our troops in other countries, but would prefer options that allow them to be safer in battle and closer to their families. This does not make me unpatriotic, just pro-American strong families. I know that the price of milk is around $3.78 and that bread is $1.98. These, along with fluctuating gas prices, are enough to realize that American people are suffering. I don’t need to explain what 95% of Americans are experiencing first-hand. This will be my first priority as president. Rapid and efficient changes are needed. In the first 100 days of my presidency I will present Congress with many strategies that will provide relief for Americans. These will not be easy hand-out programs. Americans will have to work hard like they always have and rise to the occasion, much like that great generation after the depression in the 1930s. One of these programs will be to move budget monies to support the inception of a new energy program that will make us independent of other countries. This will require all Americans to write to their Congress representative and voice their concerns. Active participation will breed a more efficient Washington D.C. This election is the most important of our time, not because of the candidates’ demographics but because it is the first time so many decisions are going to be left in the hands of the American people on Election Day. You, the American people will decide what direction this country will go.”

I am offended by politicians that carry trite phrases filled with vague generalizations. I want politicians to speak to me not about what they think I know. If there is a problem, like the recent Wall Street debacle, I want the politicians to level with me and tell me what their strategies are to deal with the problem and how to prevent it from happening again. If they use language that stretches my meager vocabulary, maybe they should define it or maybe I should get up off my couch and look those words up in dictionary to see if what they said is going to affect me. Americans have become complacent in thinking that their representatives represent only them. The legislative branch has always been an area of compromises. People of like minds and motivations have come representing the people of their region. Sometimes interests conflict and deals must be struck that are better for some than others. Legislatures can not speak for other’s interests unless they are aware of them. The Trophy Politician is one that will look good, talk pretty, and dance at the right times. The American people can not and should not allow this kind of political pandering to trump our ability to think for ourselves.

Movies that are not yet being filmed

I am a people watcher. Not in that weird stalking kind of way. I find that when my environment changes around me I tend to look for the reactions of people around me. This is a good thing when learning to cross streets in New York or Boston, as has been the case the last couple days.

Kacy has received a fellowship to research letters in Boston for the next three weeks. Being the responsible husband – I go with her and go sightseeing in a town I’ve never seen by myself. Instances of following people’s reactions in Boston – like when to cross a busy intersection – have been helpful to my survival here. The city is slightly smaller than the one that I grew up in, but I find myself swallowed by the miles of shops, theaters, museums, restaurants, and libraries without the convenience of a car. So I have adapted and gone underground with the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority.

Many of my days have been filled with finding places on maps so small that they don’t include all of the street names. I have had plenty of time to watch crowds while enjoying a mid-morning snack, sharing the diminutive space of a subway car, or waiting in a line that does not move towards a destination that is often overvalued.

This morning I enjoyed walking into a record shop with an older woman leading a golden retriever. She was not handicapped, but was allowed to bring the over-sized beast into the store because the shop owner believed ‘tying the animal to a post was just cruel.’ I believe allowing the animal to maul through vintage Beatles albums is horrific, but shared the space with the buffalo creature in a shop that could fit in our living room in Mississippi.

Leaving the shop I noticed another large canine lying across the pavement --- all the way across the pavement. The owner was explaining the her St. Bernard puppy would often just stop and lay down and that being petite she could not move him until he decided to get up and go again. I shot a look at the behemoth monster with a recognizable grin a smile, understanding that I would stop and smell the roses every time I was let out of a 700 sq. ft. condo in the middle of Mass. Ave.

Kacy and I walked to Fenway Park after lunch and passed a man who shouted on his phone – “I don’t care if they don’t like it, that’s the way this is going to go – and another thing I don’t like their attitude.” I was curious at whether he was discussing his pizza order or a business deal with Hollywood producers. Conversations like this are common on paved walkways, as people do not greet each other unless they happen to bump into each other. Most of the people I see are students busy looking busy with their cell phones and I-pods that prevent them from still interacting with the real world that is going on around them.

I was inquisitive about the use of I-pods on the subway and thought to try it out, since other tourists sought out conversation from those too forgetful to bring their own source of entertainment on the subway. I noticed instead that I began to hum the tune of the song that was playing in my head instead of looking like the cool Harvard student on the Red Line. I removed my headphones and immediately heard several others with ear phones mildly humming their own tunes in a weird make shift song that sounded very much like a large dog bumping into a sitar-like Beatles album where Paul is pronounced dead. I now understand that all these people traverse the same area I do everyday with their own soundtrack living out their own version of life speaking out passing conversation that could easily be the start a O’Connor story or a movie.